trees and water

it's hard to believe this is down the way from me.



and that i can walk here. trees and the water have infused me with something new in the months since i've been here. i know this has to be true.

it's real that this place is beautiful to me. and it's real that i miss the desert. the trees and i have had wonder-full meetings. yet these woods around here are spooky. something i'm not used to.

it's also spooky to be alone. no 6ft. 2 son to walk me places. no son or daughter close by to look me in my eyes or to encourage me and rag me for my quirks. now there are new eyes to look into and my own ayes.

sister and i have had a ROCKY past, but we have always had this tie that we can't be apart. where ever one went, the other would follow. we could not resist the pull. we are EXTREME opposites. i am the odd man out of our family... i should say i am the EXTREME opposite of the bunch of us. but now it seems we (sister and i) have come to understand each other and where we can't, it's okay.

she has been encouraging me. encouraging me as she says "to fly". my feet stay as close to the ground as possible when dealing with this world. my soul is the one that stays flying above the clouds. i think she has been influencing me to let my feet join my soul. and suddenly i realized i was up on my tippy toes ready to jump... and i came to consciousness and was scared. what happened? how did i get up here? hahahahha

so that's part of the long version of this story... the other parts are uncomfortable circumstances that i'm realizing are just circumstances, but that they are real. and sister has been running interference for me recently, trying to allow me to make the decision for myself.

so it seems i am making these decisions. and the fight may be in my mind, playing out in what's around me.

---
thank you for all for the words on the last post. you just don't know how much they have all helped. :)

point of view

after deciding to add a moon to this foundation, i thought of jude's post and developing a thought.



and taking steps away from it. it didn't have any meaning to add a moon. i just wanted to. after i got into the stitching i realized that it could mean a certain thing. a lot of certain things.



thinking of st. therese of lisieux the night before and niece brought me a gift of this beautiful sweet smelling creamy colored rose yesterday afternoon.

a break in the clouds

middle son has entered treatment. it's a gift from the Universe that is just too immense for me to articulate. i've just been doing nothing since. sleeping, thinking and restoring. thank you who sent good thoughts and prayers my way. i deeply deeply appreciate them. miracles happened.

i am going to work on some face samples today. i also realized i did not post my previous photos to the class, so i am going to do that along with whatever faces come through to be stitched.

today is a lazy day.

miss GRACE

GRACE:ful earth



thank you so much grace! i can feel you and your desert in this cloth. i think i can even smell the beautiful air/earth of the New Mexico i long for...



i was so excited opening the package up grace... i burst into tears when i saw 'you'/the cloth. my son just stood over, looking at me like i was crazy hahhahhaha. the diamond shining, the soft light butterfly hovering, the thread pearls... lovely. to see/have this piece in person, i feel so honored.



your beautiful writing on the lovely stationery, the warm cloth... i want to put it all up in a scrapbook of some kind. but i will keep it out so i can look at and touch it and remember my relation.

thank you for this wonderful connection/communication grace. :)

cave:aEyes:

i turned into a cavewoman for a while.



everything was blurry and i couldn't get a grasp on a lot of things.



so i retreated. now that i've re-emerged i found that it coincided with the :three: days of the dark/new moon. funny. again.

i used to keep regular track of :her: cycles, but somehow i've lost the time.

i worked on a couple of things that have been lying beside me. mr. depp catt has a new hat. i added some things to the moon, but ripped them out... the color tones didn't match. she now has tiny whisper holes and colors.

the cloth to cloth class is ending. :sad: i'm going to miss having the opportunity to participate in that little spot. through it i learned so many things. and most suprisingly i learned a lot about myself and relating. looking back it feels like it was a group growing effort. i had a time of feeling uncomfortable, but i am happy i pushed through :my: issues and i've expanded understanding because of it.

spirit cloth class starts tuesday and from all the work examples already posted, i am surely out of my league. these women are wonderful talented artists. a new learning experience is in the slots and i'm excited.

oh and grace (if you happen by)... i'm sorry but son has not been able to mail off the cushion yet. he had an unexpected busy workweek, but he tells me he is going on monday to ship it off. so :fingers crossed: hopefully it will be there by thursday or friday. i hope cushion gets lots of wear and tear! i think she'll be happy. :)

Opened door

a door opened up while reading posts at the class blog this morning.



so many of my thoughts over the past days have intersected with the thoughts and works over there. dealing with expression, truth, one's own work...

the words i read over there hit right at the center of me. i think they are the key to this rough journey i've been on. a piece i have just not been able to figure out keep forgetting to keep close to me.

came across this song today. second time i've been feeling :funky: and i've heard this song on the tv. memories coming to meet me...

---

You say the hill's too steep to climb,
Climb it!
You say you'd like to see me try,
Climb it!
You pick the place and I'll choose the time
And I'll climb
The hill in my own way
Just wait a while, for the right day
And as I rise above the treeline and the clouds
I look down hear the sound of the things you said today
Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd, smiling
Merciless, the magistrate turns 'round, frowning
And who's the fool who wears the crown
Go down in your own way
And everyday is the right day
And as you rise above the fearlines in the frown
You look down
Hear the sound of the faces in the crowd

The Unspeakable 2

[photo found here -- storm moving over area by caitlyn willows]

after watching the weather report today, i realized i'm not as averse to wind and fire as i previously thought. i remember i enjoy storms. i feel very alive standing in the wind and rain waiting for the crackle and flash of a streak of lightning. i understand the fears of the danger of this part of nature, but i only feel swirling power and recognition from them. they wake me up, representing this life in action. as long as i can remember, i've collected rainwater. i'd keep the bottles sitting on my dresser, tangible evidence that this huge cycle is happening and i witnessed it/was a part of it for that moment. i miss them a lot when they are gone or don't show up as predicted.


[photo found here -- 4 Colour Sun Wheel © escher1]

i fear the sudden change these 2 elements represent, however in this context they seem to be a part of me and the fear is not there. i think this is where i can safely begin to explore representing them. i'm very excited at this new understanding.. :thank you world!: