turning of time

as i look back on this year, i realize this is just a continuation.



a hold over of baggage from a 7 year trip.



this was a year of unfolding. of reaching out. of facing fears. of hurts and of learning.



it was also a year of renewal. of remembering. that love still abides.



i buried my ownself. and it is for me to do the emerging.



so with this turning of the time, i move forward. hitching a ride with the sun awakening.

this moon

has been a particularly strong one. ranting and raving. mental confusion, frustration and anger. whining, self-pity.



it was rough, but it's good she facilitated the opening of this door. i am a little embarrassed for the 'steam' leaked out (thank you for listening grace), but...



and i am back to mae. she's just mae now...



and this fire eater. i imagine he got tired of running from this fire ball. now he has turned, facing it, jaws wide open ready to eat it and see what becomes of him...
---

hope everyone who celebrated yesterday had the special day they'd hoped for...

dreams

been feeling kinda strange



feeling as if i am changing. don't know if it's for the good or bad. i see myself compromising and i'm not sure if that's what i want to do.



i can feel it affecting my voice.



---
[just discovered i can follow people :) i couldn't before... maybe the fix to me commenting on embeds is coming soon... hopefully?]

pressure

atmospheric. moon tides. migraines. [and a moon face :) ] is it a change from the desert to the humid coast pressing in?



been spending lots of time in the wonderful cool dark closet. finished this bag several days ago, but my aversion to light has not allowed me to post it.

point of view

after deciding to add a moon to this foundation, i thought of jude's post and developing a thought.



and taking steps away from it. it didn't have any meaning to add a moon. i just wanted to. after i got into the stitching i realized that it could mean a certain thing. a lot of certain things.



thinking of st. therese of lisieux the night before and niece brought me a gift of this beautiful sweet smelling creamy colored rose yesterday afternoon.

barely there

the light is different here. softer. i can't seem to get a feel of it for the camera.



even though i only started this yesterday, this seems to be speaking slowly and softly. i keep adding more stitches and they are absorbed into the pale.

cave:aEyes:

i turned into a cavewoman for a while.



everything was blurry and i couldn't get a grasp on a lot of things.



so i retreated. now that i've re-emerged i found that it coincided with the :three: days of the dark/new moon. funny. again.

i used to keep regular track of :her: cycles, but somehow i've lost the time.

i worked on a couple of things that have been lying beside me. mr. depp catt has a new hat. i added some things to the moon, but ripped them out... the color tones didn't match. she now has tiny whisper holes and colors.

the cloth to cloth class is ending. :sad: i'm going to miss having the opportunity to participate in that little spot. through it i learned so many things. and most suprisingly i learned a lot about myself and relating. looking back it feels like it was a group growing effort. i had a time of feeling uncomfortable, but i am happy i pushed through :my: issues and i've expanded understanding because of it.

spirit cloth class starts tuesday and from all the work examples already posted, i am surely out of my league. these women are wonderful talented artists. a new learning experience is in the slots and i'm excited.

oh and grace (if you happen by)... i'm sorry but son has not been able to mail off the cushion yet. he had an unexpected busy workweek, but he tells me he is going on monday to ship it off. so :fingers crossed: hopefully it will be there by thursday or friday. i hope cushion gets lots of wear and tear! i think she'll be happy. :)

Moment with the Moon

a memento.



it's been pretty hectic around here. most of the hectic in my mind i'm sure. rush rush rush. conflict with slow slow slow. i feel fear when i'm rushing. fear of losing something, missing something. fear of the tic. tock.



noticed how tangible the moment/story is with one of these cloths. the thoughts jump out at me. they jump into my brain complete with feeling, ideas, problems, solutions. magic. and i did not realize how powerful that could be.



also noticed i question the quilting part of the cloth. i wonder why. fear/conflict of perfection/non performance going on in my head? after i do it though, i love it.

while stitching this, i forgot this was supposed to go on my comforter. is that yarn/vine/umbilical cord going to hold up to washing? is it gonna get all wibbly wobbly? well we'll see...

Luna:see:

i'm finally feeling like i'm back on this plane. that starry way out feeling is fading. she set me down softly. luna:see: gone.



i didn't do too much to the panel last night. i'm not quite sure where it is going from here. last night, it was looking finished to me, but i think there's more to add. i'd wanted to do some running stitches across it to quilt it. i'm not sure if it will look right though.



i plan on starting the make-up bag cloths this evening and maybe doing a little work on the second panel.

*
One night as Dick lay fast asleep,
Into his drowsy eyes
A great still light began to creep
From out the silent skies.
It was the lovely moon's, for when
He raised his dreamy head,
Her surge of silver filled the pane
And streamed across his bed.
So, for a while, each gazed at each-
Dick and the solemn moon-
Till, climbing slowly on her way,
She vanished, and was gone.

-- Walter de la Mare

That journey

traveling the vine.



i think miss moon is camped out on my left shoulder. she's been whispering in my ear forever now.

i've had many moons like this past one and i've forgotten or wasn't aware of many many past moons. i realize (again?), this moon, however that remembering/knowing helped/helps me to ride it out.



the journey a symmetrically imperfect tangled vine. it's not straight, but it's not too scary either. just enough curve to sway me from one side to another and jostle me around a bit, if i'm smiled upon. it's a vine growing from emotions fueled by a clear or cloudy perspective.

i put the quarter moons together using jude's paperless piecing video. i tried it out last week on some entsy teensy squares for practice and the stitchin felt really good. it forced me to hold the pieces in my hands in such a way that produced really good sturdy control.

now to add some words and other stuff?.

New blue

of course blue.



i resisted the urge to chop chop chop. it was a lot easier since i knew mama was in play. looking at it through calmer eyes, it appeared to be two pieces. so i cut it up the almost middle. of course i'm choosing the blue side to work with first. i figure i'll use the other for patches or something.



granddaughter in her cinderella dress pretending to photograph her polly pocket's pants like granma :)



♥

[↑date thank you jude and grace... i needed the words. :)]

Chaos

i'm in it. inner chaos.



i didn't get enough rest over the weekend. everything feels wrong. i know it's probably an overreaction but it still sucks.



the panel is not working. i'm fighting not to take a scissors to it. chop it up, just so it can be gone. it's representing my disconnected frustration. the back looks better than the front.



maybe tomorrow i'll feel better, but i think it's gonna take some days. my weekend's still 3 days away and the gran-baybees are on one.

*
:hope ray:
i tell you: one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. -friedrich nietzsche.

[↑date - how could i have spaced that it's a full moon... explains a lot. pink moon. sprouting grass moon.]

Moon Tide

:i hope miss mama moon is happy here on this little mishmash section of sky:

think it's pretty much finished. i'll probably add a couple of little things here and there. and it needs a binding... a thin one maybe.

it feels pretty good... it's got good weight and texture for the hands/touch. i freehand stitched the lettering. i did it partly because i am purposefully skipping the aspects of sewing that are usually roadblocks to either my finishing the works, or obstructions to : flow:. i also thought the loose look may fit in here. quilting it was a good light full experience.

Mama

i think miss moon might be a plain sort, but maybe she'd like some cosmic garlands or flowers. :space flowers:



i didn't know if i was going to keep going with this scrap pad, but i think i will. maybe i'll hang her in the kitchen when i'm done/satisfied. a kitchen moon.

Who's foolin' who...

more blue. i was just foolin' around stitching something to stitch it. it was only supposed to be the blue panel. playing with the blues. and i'd put it away.



but i see mama moon everywhere. and i thought she might like to be on a patchwork night sky. i think she deserves a crown and the wind at her feet. under her dress are her suns waiting to be born for another day.

[dark photos in my dark room in the dark night]